Comfort and Commiserating

Those two are different. In seasons of stress and pain we do need
comfort. What we don't need is commiserating. Comfort is God's care
for me. That can be expressed by Him in prayer or through another
person. Comfort is healing and says I am valuable and have worth
(often opposite of what we experienced in the pain). Commiserating
can different... and often multiplies our anguish. Although the
definitions are mostly synonymous how we understand commiserating can
exasperate the problem is the hurt is relational. Comfort is about
me. Commiserating, as I have experienced it and viewed it, is often
about the ones who did the hurt. Comfort is God's salve to move me
out of being stuck. Commiserating is often us ragging on others and
in that we stay stuck. As long as the problem, hurt, etc is about
another I am not responsible nor am I moving forward. As it has been
said, we cannot control what is done to us only our response. When I
am being comforted or comforting another the focus is on the person
and their hurt, not the ones who caused the hurt. That subtle shift
in focus is the difference in moving forward and staying stuck, in
responding to pain in holiness and ending up in gossip. Commiserating
may feel powerful but in the end it keeps us stuck. Comfort is the
path to the future.